A City of Sleeping Hearts
by devon380black
Summary: She reads the phrase below Allison's name, "Beloved Daughter and Friend". She blinks a few times. And balls her hands into fists. [Written for 31-days October theme 23. "and finally everyone left me and went home; how could they, when you're still crying?"] Post Season 4. Title from Urbandub.


Title: a city of sleeping hearts

Day/Theme: 23. and finally everyone left me and went home; how could they, when you're still crying?

Series: Teen Wolf

Character/Pairing: Lydia Martin, Isaac Lahey

Rating: Fiction T

Notes: Set post Season 4. Title from A City of Sleeping Hearts by Urbandub.

* * *

><p>Lydia goes on walks.<p>

Sure she has a car and can drive herself anywhere. But she loves the feeling of walking.

The act of putting one foot forward is grounding. And in some ways, familiar.

The first time she walks to the cemetery, she has nothing in her hands.

With her head bowed, she numbly walks among the graves. She doesn't glance at the names but just follows a gut feeling.

When she looks up, she's in front of Allison's headstone.

She reads the phrase below Allison's name, "Beloved Daughter and Friend".

She blinks a few times. And balls her hands into fists.

The wind rustles the leaves on the grass. Lydia silently kneels and starts to pick the fallen leaves off the grave.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, Lydia enters the cemetery. She has a small bouquet in one hand while the other snags a lock of hair that's flying around and tucks it behind her ear.<p>

She walks to Allison's grave. The cemetery is silent but not ominous. It's comforting.

There aren't any fallen leaves when she arrives at Allison's grave. There's dew on the grass.

Lydia doesn't notice this as she places the bouquet.

She stands in silence with her hands in the pockets of her dress.

Her mind echoes with the scream she locks inside. She bites her lip.

* * *

><p>The next time she visits, there is someone standing over Allison's grave and looking down at the headstone.<p>

Lydia slows down, debating with herself over whether to approach or not.

The stranger turns his head. It's Isaac.

"Hey Lydia."

She nods at him. A smile not quite making it on her face as she nears him.

She waits for Isaac to speak. She can count the number of times they've spoken to each other in one hand.

Lydia kneels and places the flowers on the headstone. Her fingers caress the name carved on to it.

"It's not your fault", Isaac breaks the silence. Lydia looks at him. Her eyes starting to burn for some reason.

She bites her lips. As if to stop the scream that already left. Her fingers clench and unclench the grass beside her, itching to do something.

"I know...", Isaac mumbles then stops. He brings his hand to his mouth. A grim expression on his face. His jaw flexing as if to steel himself for what he's about to say.

He gulps. He looks down at the grass near her. His eyes unfocused.

"I know...", he seems to be talking to his chest.

"I know how easy it is to accept the blame", he looks at her now. All big and earnest eyes. Pleading eyes.

And oh.

He's talking about -

"...But it takes away from what Allison did. She made her choice. You were important to her", he continues as if not sensing anything from Lydia. But she knows that he can probably feel when she stopped fussing around.

When her breath hitched. When her heartbeat stuttered then sped up.

"If you blame yourself, then you should go ahead and blame me too. I didn't stop her from tracking you. Even after we saw your message, we didn't stop", his voice wavers at the end.

Everything is warping and blurring. She thinks she should probably say something. _Warn him somehow?_

Or maybe it's just in her head. Maybe Isaac isn't really here. Maybe he's just a figment of her imagination. It's not the first time she has seen someone who wasn't there.

Thoughts and echoes rally in her head. Until it grows stronger and -

_Please stop._

_Stop talking._

_**I did this**_, she thinks loudly enough hoping to silence the noises in her head.

"But I think Allison wouldn't want you to feel bad", Isaac's voice is even and sure as it cuts through her thoughts.

_Stop talking._

_**I did this**_, she silently repeats.

"You were her friend", Isaac states and it's not an accusation but the voices in her head are confusing her. They are begging to be heard. Shouting and pleading in her own voice.

It all comes to a stop when her mind becomes silent as she forms one clear thought.

_**I killed... Allison.**_

"Her best friend. She wouldn't want you to feel bad", he whispers.

_**I killed Allison**_, it echoes in her head. Her own voice painting her crime.

She covers her ears and closes her eyes. There's a familiar constricting force around her chest squeezing the air out of her; while her instincts force her to inhale gulpfuls of air.

A scream is building in her gut.

She inhales loudly. She's about to scream. Scream and hope that the echoes die down.

Distantly, she feels something cover her hands. It's warm and perfectly still.

She slowly opens her eyes. Everything is blurry so she blinks a few times.

And the first thing she sees is radiant yellow.

There's a fuzzy background noise. Like when you're hearing someone from underwater.

She's still gulping air. Her eyes can't seem to find anything to focus on. She looks at the yellow, at the lips forming words, at a chest evenly moving.

Looks back up at Isaac's face. His eyes are still yellow and he doesn't shift his gaze.

She looks at his lips. Slowly enunciating something. She tries to focus on what he's saying. Tries to copy it with her own mouth.

He is saying the same thing.

Over and over and over.

"Lydia"

"Lydia"

"Lydia"

Over and over until she says it too. Until her breaths even out. Until she's no longer trembling. But her face is still wet. Her eyes still burning.

She moves her hands under his and he shifts them and touches her face instead. Her hands cover his.

He holds her face and brushes his thumbs under her eyes.

"Lydia...", he leans down and tries to catch her gaze.

She looks at him then. Focuses on his pleading face. His eyes are bright and shiny.

"It's not your fault", he whispers.

She feels herself start to cry. Wordlessly, Isaac lets go of her face and wraps his arms around her instead.

He's warm. She can hear his chest vibrate as he repeats what he says.

"It's not your fault, Lydia."

She silently cries in response. Her hands curl around his jacket and scarf.

"I miss her too", he confesses for the both of them.


End file.
